People ask me why I haven’t kept up with my blog tips for coping with post trauma stress. It would probably take me at least a thousand words to explain my last couple of months, but basically the truth is that I chose not to take the 30 minutes a day that it takes to compose a blog. So sufficith to say, “I’m sorry.”
Thinking of my own negligence brought to mind my next tip: Forgiveness. People who have had post trauma stress (and others as well) often blame themselves for what occurred. Children believe they were bad and therefore abused. People who were raped think they were to blame because they walked down the wrong street or wore the wrong clothes. Soldiers blame themselves for their friend’s death on the battlefield, and so on. You get the picture.
I’m not saying that at times we don’t make the wrong choices. Sometimes we even make them knowingly. Yes it is important to acknowledge our mistakes and apologize if we have wronged someone, and yes it is important to do what we can to make things right, but always remember we are human and we humans all make mistakes. Plenty of them. That’s how we learn.
Here are some suggestions to help you forgive yourself:
The first question to ask yourself is, “What have I learned from my mistake?”
Write the lesson/s you learned in your journal and keep the entry for future reference. Add to it as insight comes to you.
The second is “What do I need to do to forgive myself for being human?”
In the long run, if you don’t forgive yourself, you will hurt yourself more than anyone else. For most people guilt tears down their bodies defenses and their self esteem. They wander from their spiritual connectedness. They begin to believe they are being punished each time something negative happens and that they don’t deserve good things. Do you have any of those thoughts that need changing? Which ones?
This last suggestion may sound silly or scarey to you, but as I tell my clients, “Do it anyway.”
Place a picture in front of yourself and write a letter to yourself acknowledging your mistakes, apologizing and forgiving yourself. Always end it with “I forgive,love, and accept you (yourself) completely just the way you are.
Sign your name and then read it out loud to your picture.